It’s time we chat.
By chat, I mean get really, really, REALLY personal. More personal than I’ve ever gotten with you guys. If you have any negative comments after reading this post, or even before, please refrain from commenting.
When I say I’ve been stressed, it’s been in more ways than one. I know I talk about how stressful school is, and trust me it is, but there has been something else that is weighing on my mind: exercise. As many of you know, I exercise daily (minus Sunday, which is my rest day), and play tennis as often as I can (2-4 times a week, depending on what I have going on at school), or, at least I used to.
Why am I stopping? Recently, exercise has become more of a chore than an enjoyment or past time (besides tennis- I still ADORE tennis). My mind is focusing more on “well, how many reps did I do?! Did that ¾ rep count as one rep?! Oh no- I didn’t get in cardio today but I was so sedentary- what do I do?!” Because of that, I’ve started to miss out on things I love in order to exercise. To clarify, I am still going to play tennis because I do NOT count my tennis as exercise, but instead a passion.
This pressure of getting in my workout stems from my mindset that I am an extremely active, fit young girl who should be an “example for everyone to follow.” People compliment the fact that I’m so active, and while I appreciate it, it does more harm than good. I feel like I have to fit into this certain “mold” I’ve created for myself, and right now, with the other billion things I have going on in life, I don’t think my body can handle that reputation.
So I’m stopping. Not forever. Oh heavens no, I used to look forward to my workouts, and I want to get back to that point. But, I’m giving it a few weeks- heck, maybe a few months! My body needs to be relieved of the stress it’s putting on both my body and mind. I don’t want to have to think, “Okay, if I need to be somewhere at 9:00 AM, I need to get up at 6:00 AM to do my workout, have coffee, eat, get ready, drive there…” or “Gotta get to bed by 9:00 PM- I need my sleep before school!” constantly. Will I miss it? Oh, you bet. Honestly, I’ll probably be really anxious knowing my only exercise is coming from tennis or the occasional dog walk with my family. Actually, I’ll be really anxious. I love being fit, but I know it will only do harmful things for my health.
This is the best decision for myself right now. Sure, I may gain weight (actually, will), and I’ll be sedentary more of the time, but that’s okay. I’ll blog more. I’ll cook more. I’ll sleep more. I’ll be a better person to be around because I won’t be stressed about a) not exercising or b) fitting in time to focus on school. I have so many things coming for Thekitchenofdanielle, and I couldn’t be more excited! I will update you guys in a few weeks with how I feel, what’s changed, if I’m going to start up again / when, etc. Right now, I know my future can be bright, but I need to focus on my mental health first.
No questions today, but if you’ve had a similar situation, I’d love to hear your experience.
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